Archive | Child Visitation Exchanges

Children Remain in The Family Home – Parents Rotate Occupancy

How you can separate if your spouse won’t move and you can’t afford to move out.

The Nesting Agreement: The Children Remain in The Family Home and The Parents Rotate Occupancy In The Home

Frederick Maryland divorce and custody lawyers are often presented with some very practical questions concerning separation.  For example:

“I want a divorce but my spouse won’t move out, so we won’t be separated?  What can we do?”  

That question is undoubtedly the most common “Catch-22” in Maryland Family Law.

The answer I most often tell people is:

“How many couples do you know who  BOTH want to be divorced but just can’t?”

Child Custody Frederick Md

Children’s Visitation Issues in Frederick Maryland

The answer is few or none. Like many questions in family law the problem is solved by simply putting both parties’ interest in the same direction.  If both parties want to be divorced and they have agreed upon most of the issues of support, visitation and alike; it really does not matter who moves out and who stays.

People tend to spend what people make and rarely do parties’ have enough income or savings to support two (2)  full fledged households.  It may be ok for you to stay on your brother’s couch or in his spare bedroom but what about your three (3) kids?

With the depressed real estate values of this current economy, people and the courts are getting creative.  Lately there has been some traction to the idea of a “nesting agreement.”  It means that on the days/nights that mom has the kids she stays in the marital home; on the nights dad has the kids he stays in the marital home.  

Obviously the idea is for the parents to bear the hassle of moving back and forth thereby having less effect upon the children. This solution is not for everyone, but it is one solution to the common problem of who should stay and who should go.

I am reminded of a case where the parents who lived in Frederick were going through a divorce and they lived in an extremely expensive home.  The expense was so high that when mother left the home she had no money for rent and was forced to live on a couch at her sister’s home in Woodsboro Maryland.  That was not an appropriate way for the children to spend the night so they created a nesting agreement which would last until the home was sold and  they had sufficient money to each afford a place to live.


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The Custody Place
301 865-1101


Custody and Visitation Exchanges and Neutral Locations

Child Visitation Exchanges in Frederick MD

Where Do You Drop Off The Kids For Visitation, Your Home or Theirs?

Neutral Locations: The relationships between some parents make exchanges emotionally turbulent so the location of the exchange and other changes may smooth out the problem.

Frederick Maryland custody attorneys usually address and include the location for exchanges of the children as well as the times for those exchanges. In most cases the parents do the exchanges at their homes or residence.

Almost as frequently, parents exchange the child(ren) at a geographic halfway point or at some other predetermined location.

Personally, I am a big believer in the collecting party doing transport. That means a parent comes to the other parent and collects the child wherever that may be.

Such an arrangement creates a buffer for the tardy types because the child is just doing what they normally do at the respective parents house when or if the collecting parent is running late.

Following the tardy theme, the parent from whom the child(ren) is being collected is very unlikely to be late because they are already home when the collecting parent arrives.

Sometimes in custody and divorce cases a location other than the residence of the respective parents is chosen for exchanges of the child(ren). The reasons for this, as well as the chosen locations range from the outrageous to the sublime. While many parties select such places for safety reasons (described below) most of the time such locations are chosen as a mere courtesy, or simply as a halfway point so that the parties each bear half the trouble and expense of exchanges.

When exchange points are chosen as a matter of convenience anyplace will do but frequently child friendly locations like fast food playgrounds are best. These low profile exchange points can also give one the ability to prove he/she was at the correct place at the correct time by having video or even a receipt for a Coke? This can be helpful where the parent(s) lament being “stood up” for visitation or being victims of serial and extreme tardiness.

I know of a case where the father lived in Woodsboro and the mother lived in Thurmont.  Both of the residences were in an “armed camp” kind of situation.  Mother lived on a farm at the end of a long driveway with all her family.  Father lived in a cul de sac  with his family occupying the other homes in the cul de sac.

There were no real safety concerns but it was an awkward arrangement.  The selected that the father would pick up the children at the Cozy Restaurant in Thurmont and the Mother would pick the children back up at a diner in Woodsboro.

Child Custody Lawyers in Frederick Maryland


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